Steven Universe: White Death
by Eogrus
Summary: Steven has been captured by White Diamond! Will he escape and join his beloved and massively breasted Amethyst?


It was a very fine day in the wondrous castle of emotions and passions that was the Homeworld. White Diamond, that ginormous eccentrical women phosphorescent like the evil suns of most lost Carcosa, had captured Steven the boy she so desired. They were finally going to be married at last, and she was putting on black makeup like the palpitations of the void whorefully like a rhyncocephalian of despise and broken dreams. She moved her head in invitational whims to obliterate the facial structure with vindictive punches like in anime.

"Oh my Steven" moaned White Daima suicidally, "We will make love soon."

She took a perfume composed of cow brown intestinal bile shit and rubbed it on her sensually to make herself aphrodisiacally attractive to men. Then she filled her bathtub and put on a Linkin Park song and cut her wrists sexily, filling the water with shitty drepanocytosis full blood and faeces. She took a toaster and put in on, electrocuting her nipples and making them dart off her chest like bullets, fart darters that shot across the galaxy and ended ten thousand little child lives, and had a most blindingly intense orgasm, expelling massive greenish infected poop that resided in her bowels for five thousand million years.

"Oh my Steven, I can't wait for you to marry me!" White Diamond cried in arcane erotic devotion to Argimpasa, "In fact I'm going to do that right now!"

She got out of the shitty water, blobs of faecal matter sliding across her dress, some of which ending on the ground and making her slip. She slipped and landed with her pussy on Yellow Diamond's head, which tore her uterus with much ecstatic pleasure. White Diamond moaned and cut off Yellow Diamond's gem and put it on her anus like a plug, damning her colon and subjecting her ugly rival lust gem to an eternity of faecal condolences. Blue Diamond was very scared, so White Diamond took an obsidian knife and her off her endometrium from her and rubbing it on her tearful face. She then sent her soul to hell to be raped by limbless mannequins with Commissioner Gordon's face and Tyrannosaurus phalluses until all things died and no name remained in the Logos of existence. Then she would be raped for all eternity by barbed wire penis cockroaches.

This made White Diamond even more horny, expelling oceans of black but sparkly vaginal fluid that formed bodies of water in a thousand realms and drowned ten billion more in primordial waters, creating ten quadrillion more planes of existence. Stars and galaxies were formed from the shimmers in her lustful aquatic substances, and that made her even more aroused so the cycle repeated for ageless eternities on which the face of God is but a sparkle from a firework. After that she went to Steven's room.

"Oh my love, where art thou?" she cried lustfully rubbing her tumorous titties and ripping them with her black nail polished nails, expelling black fluids and heliotrope milk.

But when she walked to the room she gasped! Steven was doing diarrhea-lubricated anal sex on White Pearl! And they had RINGS ON THEIR FINGERS!

"Why!?" cried White Diamond tearfully, eating ice cream. Made of frozen poo.

"My whoreful Diamond I desire to marry Steven for myself" said White Pearl rebelliously, "My love gave me free will and now every gem wants to marry him too!"

White Diamond look outside and all of Homeworld was dead due to a civil war. Black ravens ated the corpses and even took out an eye! Amethyst the beautiful true wife of Steven was decapitated and put on a trench, lots of ants infesting her shit-encrusted anus and vagina. Connie the malevolent witch bitch had flown away with her army of uteral bat friends, plotting for revenge.

"If I can't have Steven neither will you!" cried White Diamond jiggling her mutilated and emptied sacks of skin that used to be breasts.

She then did a spell and White Pearl was sent to Heaven, where she would be properly dressed and become a sex-less nun forever.

"Now my beloved Steven, we will be together!" moaned White Diamond.

But as White Diamond turned Steven around it wasn't actually Steven, it was...PROFESSOR RATIGAN!1111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111116666111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111!

"WHAT!?" cried White Diamond, since she didn't like RATS.

"You see, I too wanted to marry Steven, so I ate White Pearl and made a hologram so Steven looked like White Pearl" he cackled meanly, "Now he is in Heaven for safe keeping and now not even YOU will get to him!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" cried White Diamond, and she cut her wrists suicidally. Then she took a silver gun to her mouth and blown her brains, killing herself.

Her blood and cerebral fluids were scattered across the universe, and drowned Commissioner Gordon thousands of miles away. Ratigan could only smile, and gathered all the fluids in his vial, made from Basil's skull. He too wanted to marry Steven and it was only so predictable when he could kill both him and Steven's true wife Amethyst.

"I'm coming for you, my love" cockled Ratigan sodistically.

And then he disappeared. 


End file.
